A post long due

Just now, I completed reading almost all the blogs I follow after almost a month (I’ve not commented on any, however). I’ve been terribly busy to blog and while I say this, I appreciate and admire bloggers who always find that little time to put up a little post, however busy they are. Perhaps I need a little how-to-blah-blah-help in this direction.

Today, I just wanna offload a pent-up post in the head. The mumbai episode has sent shivers down the spine and things will never be the same again. The very fact that just 10 armed young chaps took over an entire nation for three days, killing many and injuring several, left everyone insecure. Thanks to the media for live-casting the terror acts – the terrorist and the crime-owners must have had a good laugh at the supportive media for the free live info of their plan’s success. And yes, even my little three year old has learnt a new lesson - that of death, blood, and killing.

Waking up in the morning and looking forward to another beautiful day is fast becoming a privilege. We get nightmares when we sleep. We walk the same roads with fear in our stride. We’ll think twice about lunching at a 5 star hotel. Or catching a train to visit our relatives and friends.

I am happy that everyone is safe in blogland, although some in mumbai have had narrow escapes. It's such a difficult time we live in, the future we’re leaving to our kids. I am certainly going to beef up my insurance cover.

Thank you all for the comments you’d left on my last post. I’ll sign-off here for now. A web-conference meeting is due in a couple of hours, and for a change I am the one organizing it. Yes, I am finally getting the legal opportunity to bore my colleagues (across the globe) to death:). Till the next post, stay safe.

Some sense, the rest nonsense

New Job lived up to its promise in crowding my 24 hours with work, work related meetings, non work related meetings, calls, conferences, and what not.
I’ve mastered the art of attending meetings sincerely – look all eager, quietly take the back seat and sneak out after I have kinda confirmed that nobody in the meeting room is gonna miss me. Ha! Neat!Aidn't it?

And before I forget, allow me to tell you that I had exhibited my creativity (creative that I am :) in New Job. There was a “Describe yourself” contest in New Job and I submitted the following lines:

“Hi! I am a beta version working towards alpha. One day I’ll be thin, become tall, become wiser and write a book (whichever happens earlier). Until then, I’ll continue trying to make sense of your software codes for the (hmm!) code challenged mortals.”

And guess who won the prize? You thought (didn’t you?) that this CREATIVE (comeon, a little bit of self-promotion doesn’t hurt anyone) piece would have won. Alas, it’s not to be. Its ok …sob! sob!... (collecting myself amidst tears) I don’t care about such silly contests…But…I must say, this incident confirmed my opinion of the shortage of good judges everywhere - in TV reality shows, in corporate office contests... What say you?

Apart from that, everything is fine – Finally, Bembi’s Mundan (head shaving ceremony)got over sucessfully after postponing it for almost 6-7 months. My bald lil’ baby looks like a junior Jet-Li, her mongoloid features highlighted prominently in the absense of any hair. ( Mental Note: About time I post Bembi's bald pics here)

Lijy of Mama’s pet has given me my second blog award. She gave me my first award too:) Lizy, dear, I can really count on you to give me awards. Thank you very much.

And I am suppose to pass on this award to 7 bloggers whose blogs I like to read. Now, when I scan each of your blogs, I see that most of you have got this award and I seem to be the last to have got it. That left me very emotional and now I am like “Sniff! Sniff! Nobody (except for you, Lijy) bothered about Rustic Notes. Sniff! Sniff! I know my blogging behavior is erratic…but…but…Sniff! Sniff!”

Anyways (with a long face), my parting say/wish in this post is “Happy Diwali & a Happy festive season ahead”.

I

I am just about done with dusting the cobwebs here. Ah! The clean white sheet stares at me, waiting to be pireced. The head has a hundred things, stories untold, running riot, but alas! relunctant to come out. O.K., I just read some blogs I follow and Arunima has a new post that starts with “I”.I am going to do a lil’ act of plagiarism here, steal her idea and tell my story. I assume she won’t mind. Atleast I am telling her I am stealing. Many people don’t.

I left my earlier job that’s just 3.57 kms from my home and joined another that is some 18 kms away. Slave to the money, flexibility and all that.

I want to scale heights, professionally. I was a lecturer for 6 months, a graphic visualizer for a good 3-4 years, an animator for 2 years, a writer all the while. Someday, I want to give it all up and be a social worker, and climb Mt.Everest too. See, I am serious about scaling heights.

I became an early riser ever since I joined this new job. Until then, waking up at 5.30.a.m. was unimaginable unless Bembi wants to go for shoo-shoo or poop. I say, some firms really make you admire nature (the morning Sun, beauty of dawn, etc.). Except for the frequent YAWN! It’s all fine really.

I was in the lurch without a help (read nanny to my daughter) for roughly 2 days. Mary, my ex-help left me all of a sudden to get married.

I spent one month trying to get my unaccomodating two year old in getting used to Mary not around her.

I have a sweet aunt (more like mommy kind) who agreed to help me out for a year. Plus, lucklily I got a young girl to help her out with Bembi. However, it took time for Bembi to get used to them being around.

I spend very less time with my daughter ever since I joined the new job. I am counting on my manager to give me “Work from Home “option after 6 months. He too has a daughter.

What language does your child speak?

“What language should my child speak?”

“Should I religiously pass on my mother tongue to my child?”

“Should I first teach my child the tongue of the country/region I’ve settled in? - after all, I should help my child communicate & cope faster to the region’s social environment”

“Should I alternate teaching my child two/three languages at a time – my mother tongue, language spoken in my country, or the language spoken in the country/region I live in, or the universal language – English?”

Parenting has never been so tough –esp. in today’s world where its commonplace for people to migrate from their place of birth/ hometown/country to settle in another region/state/country.
Some parents take all efforts to raise kids who know their roots well and speak their native mother tongue. Some are liberal in their take and let their child adopt the new social environment/language in the absolute sense.

A close Indian friend of mine who has been living in South America since a couple of years has exposed/been exposing her daughter (2 year old then) to three languages at a time – English, the parents mother tongue, and the local language of the region, Spanish.
The child is some 5 year old now and for a long time, her vocabulary was a mixture of all three languages. She can understand all the three languages, but cannot speak in one proper sentence in one language. Until she started school and started spending a lot more time with local children who speak Spanish. Now, she’s conversant in Spanish only, but still mixes English and her parents’ mother tongue in her vocabulary.

Personally, I have no opinion on this. I cannot judge whether the parents’ doings are right or wrong.

On one hand, the child is able to communicate effectively with her friends – expressions, accent and all.
That’s clearly a social advantage for the child. And being able to adapt socially translates positively to the child’s confidence level, happiness at school/with friends, self-esteem etc.

On the other hand, the child is likely to find it tough to communicate/relate with her extended family back home. Also, if the child is asked what her mother tongue is, will she say - Spanish? English? Or the parents’ mother tongue? And as one’s native language factors as a prominent stamp to identify oneself, identity confusion might arise.

Also, are parents socially responsible for passing on their native mother tongue to their kids? Isn’t that how a language lives on through generations?

These are some unanswered questions and I would love to get opinions on this.

My personal view on this topic stems from my utmost priority in bringing up my kid – that of a healthy child- parental bond. I was born a Manipuri and speak, think, eat, live (to some extent) like a Manipuri even though I’ve settled in a different place and have galore of multi-lingual and multi-cultured friends.

To me, cuddling my daughter and speaking endearingly to her comes naturally in my mother tongue – expressions and all. I don’t have to struggle and sound expressionless when I bond with my daughter. Sometimes, although I do use endearing words in English and Hindi while speaking to my daughter, I feel more at home expressing it in my mother tongue.

Also, my rational is that of exposing a child to just one language in the start. Not only because it’ll be load for the child to learn two/three languages at a time, but also because a child who is exposed to just one language picks up the language faster, and is in good stead to speak fluently early in life. That again (but not necessarily) helps the child express the innumerable queries he/she starts finding in this beautiful world. Also, if a child is able to say “I feel pain here” pointing to his/her tummy - the earlier, the better.

Parenting is one area where there’s no fixed, fool-proof process/scheme. A parent myself in a nuclear family, I treasure each and every sound opinion/comment/feedback/article on parenting. So, do plug in with your comments.

Bangalore, bomb blasts and more

Friday, 25th of July, 2008, Bangalore
Venue: The chill (out) zone in my office. This serves as a place for tea breaks, gossiping, chatting loudly on the phone, etc., and is an open area with a picturesque view down the road through the glass panes.
1.30. P.M: Crowd gathered in the chill zone, each one trying to peer through the glass pane and talking simultaneously:

- “Ohmigod! Bomb blasts in Madiwala”.

- “Is anyone hurt...Sucks! Bangalore is getting worse day by day…”

- “Whoosh! How’ll we go home? Check out the traffic”

-“Seems one lady was killed on the spot…”

Eight bomb blasts rocked the peaceful city of Bangalore that day. A live bomb was defused the next day.

Monday, 28th of July, Bangalore
9.30 A.M: As usual, I reached office like any other ordinary day
9.30-10.30 A.M: Office employees reached office and switched on their computers like any other ordinary day

- Work, meetings, brain storming sessions, deadlines, came about as usual

- Lunch as usual (few discussed the bomb blasts over lunch, others discussed movies, trivias...)

- People (including me) left office for home as usual around 5.30-7.30 P.M.

Really, if it weren’t for the inbuilt “FORGETful” nature in the human system (unless of course’ the tragedy harmed someone close to us), people will be scared to move about the daily business of living, it would have been tough to deal with tragic incidents as bomb blasts, esp. in a place that has hardly known any terror before.

For people like me who come from terror stricken places like the north- east, or J&K, the system tuning is slightly different – we tend to be less shaken and say , little less nervously “Sad it happened, but guess it’s not safe anywhere”. Bomb-blasts, gunshots, combing operations, terrorism is so rampant in the north-east of India that folks there often joke that they don’t get sound sleep and feel it’s rather unusual if they don’t hear any blast, gun-shots on a daily basis. Such is the situation.

It’s a sad fact that some people are out to destroy this beautiful world, and the beautiful lives of people in it.

The first after-effects of the school environment

It’s been a month since Bembi started attending a Montessori. But her actual attendance must be only about 17 days of the 35 odd days. Two weeks into the Montessori and she was down with heavy cold, cough, slight fever, loose motion, and what not.

Her throat chose to irritate and she coughs uncontrollably as soon as she’s warmly tucked in the bed, ready to sleep. The coughing went on at regular intervals throughout the night, unheeding the effects of the cough syrup that was forcibly administered to her. Administered with the added strength of three adults– one to hold her on the lap lifting her chin up, one to hold her legs lest she kicks the syrup off, one to hold her nose and quickly pour the syrup down her throat . Ah! It’s nothing short of maneuvering a difficult task.

So there we were, the whole of last week went in recuperating. But Thank Goodness! she has recovered from the cold and I am a happy mom again.

My happiness was short-lived though.

To fend against the cold & cough, her well-meaning parents kept her very warm (with socks, sweaters, etc), in fact too warm that her lil’ warm-blooded body developed heat rashes everywhere. These lil’ rashes chose to irritate always at inappropriate time, just as she’s about to sleep, have slept halfway, at 2 in the night, again at 4early in the morning. No amount of prickly heat powder and medicated lotions soothes her at night even if they all work fine during the day.

Some puzzling doubts:

...NOCTURNAL aches & pains that creeps in mostly at night!
...Kiddie medicines working only during the day!

Anyway, school attendance lasted for just two days after recovering from the cold. She’s back again at home recovering from heat rashes and catching up on lost sleep.

Unfortunately, no corporate office gives “Leaves to Catch lost sleep” for her working parents who’ve been giving her company during these night episodes.

Updates

In my last post you guys did a lot of consoling the guilt-ridden mommy in me. It helped and here’s my profound thanks to one and all. My lil’girl has started attending a Montessori and is struggling to get a foothold in her own social life. That is, far away from mommy’s apron strings. The first week were lots of bawling and the tiny tots in her batch were following a chain reaction of crying if one starts crying.

I almost felt pity for the teacher-in-charge. Imagine trying to sober down 7-10 kids crying in tandem. Anyway, two weeks into the Montessori, and the management in-charge informed that Bembi has adopted her class teacher‘s apron strings for mine. She’s been following her around the room and sitting next to her if not on her lap.

I’ve to add here that a two-and-half year old’s playschool/Montessori school turn out to be shockingly costlier to what I thought. After calculating the transport charges (its 3kms from my place), the sum expenses tilted towards Rs. 50,000. My! My! Hubby exclaims Bembi’s one year play-school expense is more than his entire education cost till 10th Std:).

But I am happy that my daughter has started learning a lot of things and is in a safe, conducive environment. That matters a lot.

So, there I was, totally on MOM mode, since I last blogged. I was also a SICK mom with …A-AAH-AAHCHOOOO…! doing the rounds on a frequent basis these days…Thanks to Bangalore weather. Oh! Well, do come down here to experience winter, rainy, and summer season all in one day. You get to flash your woolens in the mornings & sometimes in the evenings (not always), you get to show-off your strappy and summery clothes, and of course’ if you’ve a handsome raincoat/windcheater lying hidden in your closet, you get to wear that too. All in one day. Ha!

My GOOGLE READER is bursting with unread posts of blogs I keep track of. I will be doing the rounds of reading and commenting on them soon.
Lizy, will be doing your tag soon too. Chalo, catch you guys.